No I did not get punched in the eye

Last night I didn’t get to sleep in my own bed.  I did a sleep study.  A person with sleep issues, whatever they might be, spends the night in a lab hooked up to lots of things and in a few weeks finds out why they have the issues.  Since no one adequately prepared me for the sleep test, I have decided to tell you, dear reader, o blogosphere what it is really like.

I went into a room that had no windows and a double bed.  I changed into my pajamas and put two electrode wires down each of my pant legs.  Then the technician returned and she started to hook me up.  There were four electrodes on my head including the nasty gel stuff which was so delightful to get out of my hair, one behind each ear, one on each side of my jaw to detect grinding, one under my left eye, one above my right eye, one in the center of my forehead, and two on my clavicle.  In case it wasn’t clear, the reason that I look like I was punched in the eye is from the scrubbing and surgical tape put below my left eye.  That did not feel good to take off this morning.  In case that wasn’t enough, then I had a nasal cannula taped to my cheeks to measure the output of air from my nose.

Oh, but there’s more.  Then I had a strap around underneath my armpits and one around my waist to detect breathing.  I also had a pulse reader on my ring finger on my right hand.  It took almost an hour to hook up all of these things to the right gadgets and then the technician informed me, go to sleep now.  So much for the reading before bed that was described in the brochure.

Needless to say it was not easy to fall asleep with all of this stuff strapped to me.  The room was really hot and stuffy and that made it more difficult to sleep.

The good news is that the test is over.  There wasn’t any information that the technician was readily able to share except that I didn’t snore all night.  I will know in two weeks what the verdict is.  I’ll keep you posted.  And if you ever have to have a sleep study, good luck!

So if you see me and my eye looks puffy and red, I did not get punched in the eye.

About rabbisteinman

I am a rabbi living in North America. I was ordained from HUC-JIR. This is my blog.
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3 Responses to No I did not get punched in the eye

  1. sami Alam says:

    wow… such a wonderful post…
    outstanding balance of lines and words….
    Learnt a lot from you….

    visit mine… & plz plz plz post your comments….

    Thank you…

    I’ll be in touch…

  2. elizabeth spitzer says:

    Dear Rabbi:

    If you’d only told me last night!! I managed a sleep clinic for 10 years!! I know all about it — it was a position I loved.

    If you didn’t snore — that’s a positive thing. Share your results and I’ll try and share some wisdom gleaned in those ten years.

  3. Richard says:

    Classic story! You at least had a double bed and do not smoke! I felt like a character out of Star Trek called The Borg as I waded through the hospital outside with a host of eyes fixated on my techno-adorned body.

    Interestingly, it was the best sleep I had in months, scuppering the entire test. Oh well…. At least I slept.

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