Rabbi Eleanor Steinman

I know, I know it has been a long time since I posted.  What can I say, it isn’t because I have been lounging around.  There’s been lots of writing that will be revealed later, after TS hears it first.

And because there will be a lot of kissing of lots of people coming in the next few days, I thought it would be appropriate to share this story about the social etiquette of kissing.  This is not to suggest that I expect any kisses from anyone when the other TS senior staff and I stand in the foyer and wish nearly 5,000 people “shanah tovah.”  In fact, if you’re sick or feeling at all under the weather you should stay far away.  I say that in the most loving way of course (if you’re that sick, you probably need to stay home).

I need to go back to that other writing now, I hope that in the coming year I will be able to write a little bit more frequently about lots of things.  If there are any topics of interest to you, please let me know.

Yes, I’m a grown up and I love my mommy and am not embarrassed to tell the world!

Today is MOM’s birthday!  Hooray.  In honor of it being the 24th of August, here are 24 of the billions of things I love about her.

1.  She has a wonderful smile

2.  As far as mom’s go, she is top-notch

3.  You think you know strong women? My mom is the strongest woman I know.

4.  She’s a cancer survivor (aka she kicked cancer in the butt).  And she didn’t get annoyed when I would sing the theme song from Rocky every time another chemo treatment was over.

5.  Have you noticed a nice sweater DAD, THE DIVA or I were wearing?  She probably knit it.

6.  Some people have mom’s that are great bakers.  Sure she probably could if she wanted to, however my mom is a fantastic cook.  She makes the best tomato sauce in the world

7.  When we’re walking somewhere together, we hold hands

8.  She can touch the tip of her tongue to the tip of her nose

9.  When playing any type of trivia game, you absolutely want her on your team (she always knows the answers to pink Trivial Pursuit questions!)

10.  She rocks at name that tune

11.  She would sing a song that her mom wrote to THE DIVA and I when we were little

12.  She has really cool glasses

13.  Her laugh is infectious

14.  Though I’m five inches taller than she is, her hands are bigger than mine.

15.  She makes the very best matzoh ball soup on the planet

16.  When THE DIVA and I were little, we had season tickets to the theater

17.  Need someone to listen to you?  Call my mother

18.  She is really good at Scrabble.  Really good.  Do not play for money against her

19.  This woman knows how to have a good time

20.  She likes to throw parties and entertain

21.  She has a generous spirit

22. My mom gives really good back scratches (right BIRTHDAY BUDDY?)

23.  When my mom was in high school she was in a production of “Where’s Charlie.”  We have a record of her singing.  That’s right.  My mom. On a record.

24.  She’s with it.  All of a sudden the woman likes everything THE DIVA and I do on facebook!

Happy birthday to the best mother I’ve ever had.  I love you VERY much!

Yesterday I learned that Rabbi Edward M. Tenenbaum ז”ל passed away.  Rabbi Tenenbaum was the rabbi at my grandparents’ synagogue, Temple Beth Zion, in Los Angeles.  He was 92 years old.

I think when I was little (we’re talking very young) I thought that Rabbi Tenenbaum was what a rabbi looked like.  From what I remember he always wore a black suit and a simple tie.  He always smiled at people and remembered details of their lives (or maybe he just remembered details of my life?).  He had a distinctive voice that could fill a room if he wanted, but was most often gentle and soothing.

GRANDMA and PAPA were very active members of Temple Beth Zion in its prime.  Rabbi Tenenbaum, and his late wife, Florence (who was always called “The Rebbetzin”) were always treated as special guests and I remember going up to both of them at the urging of GRANDMA to say hello.  MOM and DAD, of course also always urged me, too.  I was fairly well mannered.  MOM, DAD, GRANDMA and PAPA taught me more directly how to have respect for the rabbi.  Respect that I still have for rabbis even as I am one. (Upon hearing of his death, UNCLE H recollected that he was the rabbi at his Bar Mitzvah and that was more than 35 years ago!  I guess all of us Steinmans have respect for rabbis.)

Many years ago when PAPA was still alive, there was a special celebration for Rabbi Tenenbaum.  PAPA, who almost never asked me to do anything, asked me to go and represent our family.  While the evening represents many hours that I won’t get back, it was truly a pleasure to be there for Rabbi Tenenbaum.  It meant so much to him that I was there, even he started to introduce me to people, including many of his contemporaries.

I would see Rabbi Tenenbaum at various other events when I was a rabbinic student.  Sometimes when I was a student rabbi he would be at the mikveh.  (I think he always knew who I was because I resemble GRANDMA so much, or maybe it was because I always said my name).  I remember going up to him at the Southern California Board of Rabbis Sermon Seminar and his delight in knowing that I was going to become a colleague.  I invited him to my ordination, though he wasn’t able to attend he sent me a lovely note which I still have.

Rabbi Tenenbaum was one of the good ones.  May his memory be for a blessing.

For the past week I have moved to what I like to think of my northern summer office, URJ Camp George.  For the past three summers I have spent a week on beautiful Maple Lake.  This year the weather has been idyllic.  Sun, heat, cool evenings, and a little bit of rain to keep all of the beautiful foliage green (and almost no mosquitoes!).  Even more importantly, the programming has been stellar, the song sessions rockin’, and there have been abundant smiling faces all around.

I strongly believe in the importance of Jewish summer camps.  The URJ happens to have some amazing facilities and options available.  There is no better way for our youth to live their Judaism on a day-to-day basis than Jewish overnight camp.  Whenever I can, I encourage my congregants to think about sending their children to Camp George (it is the only Canadian URJ camp after all) because I believe that the Reform Jewish values that are inculcated in fun, exciting ways are the ideal supplement to whatever students are learning in school (public, Jewish day, and religious).

This year’s education theme at George, “Just.Be.Holy” is the perfect example of the magic of camp.  With age-appropriate silliness, content, action, and sport (The Holy Goalie, something every Canadian can love), the campers have learned more meaningful Jewish content than I can even quantify.  Yesterday two units took the “Holiness Challenge,” and the number of campers who were screaming answers to questions like, “fill in the blanks–don’t place a stumbling block before the __________________ or insult the _____________________,” is inspiring.  (If you don’t know the answer check Lev. 19:14).

As a congregational rabbi, my role at camp is extra special.  I believe that when I get to camp, I am coming to my campers/congregants’ universe.  Camp is their special place that I get to visit.  When I see them walking around, or even better when they come running up to me to show me their arts & crafts project or I give them a ‘yasher koach’ (mad props) for doing a reading during services there’s a special interaction here.  Though I’m blessed to work in a congregation where many of the students/kids/families feel at home, often they are coming into my space.  (How many of the nursery students think that I live at the synagogue?  A lot!).  Camp is different.  They get to see me walking around in casual clothes, singing their songs, teaching them in fun and silly ways.  It is the best of both worlds for both of us.

A personal confession–I didn’t go to camp as a kid.  There were lots of reasons, most of them in hindsight, not that good.  It is one of my biggest regrets because I am totally a camp person.  I am lucky that I am able to make up for lost time and go to camp as a faculty member (this is my fifth summer at  a URJ camp).

Temple Sinai sent an impressive number of campers to Camp George this year (I think 49 but don’t quote me).  We also had a number of staff members that are members of the community in Toronto.  I know I am joined by my fellow senior staff members when I say that we would love to meet with any congregants about Camp George and how to get your children there.

Sending our children to Jewish overnight camp is, I believe, the best way to ensure their Jewish futures and ours, too.

My fellow rabbis at Temple Sinai, Michael Dolgin and Erin Polonsky and I are talking about our High Holy Day sermons before they’re even entirely complete!  That’s right, each one of us is ‘tweeting’ about one of our sermons @tweetsofawe.  Everyday, except for Shabbat of course, one of us will post something about one of our sermons (we use our initials so you could know who is who).*

MD will post about his Yom Kippur morning sermon which can be heard at the early and late service in the Sanctuary on Yom Kippur.

Did you know there is a new Multigenerational Rosh Hashanah morning service?  This service will take place in the New Hall beginning at 9:30am.  EP will be tweeting all about it!

Kol Nidre takes place on Friday, September 17, 2010.  ES will tweet about her sermon that will be heard at the early and late service that evening.

After the holidays I will be posting my sermons here as well so you can see what the final product is.

*You do not need to be on twitter to follow us.  Just click on the word @tweetsofawe and you will be guided to the link

Dear Mom and Dad,

Happy anniversary!  I hope it isn’t too embarrassing that now the whole blogosphere knows about your anniversary, but after 34 years you deserve it.

Obviously, thanks for getting married.  I know that as your child the perfection that is your marriage is only my naive, we’re talking about my parents here, view.  But you’ve taught THE DIVA and I so much about healthy relationships by your example and we’re both grateful for that.

Here are some of the things I’ve learned.

1.  Laughter is key.  Laughing together not only is fun, it alleviates stress and brings joy to everyone.

2.  It is okay to wear matching shirts.  No seriously, you both are extremely supportive of one another.  Whether it be a new hobby or an old one, being the #1 support during yucky experiences, or doing simple things to make the other one smile, you both are tops at this.

3.  Never go to bed angry.  (Is it really possible though?) I know it was your aim and I think it is a good one.  (I always wondered, when you were really angry about something did you just stayed up all night in order not to break it)?  I realize that going to bed angry means you can still go to bed mad or upset.  I know it must have been hard sometimes to let things go, but, if I could be rabbinic for a moment, it really helps at times like this (Elul, getting ready for all of that repenting/returning) to move beyond the anger.

Of course you’ve taught me lots of other things, like how adorable it is to have matching iPads, how to raise two fantastic daughters, and how to transition into new phases of life together.  I’m forever grateful to be your daughter.   Everyone who knows you is  incredibly blessed that on that lovely day 34 years ago you decided to get married (yes I know the decision was made before that, it was just the actual day of the wedding).  Keep up the good work!

Love you lots and lots,

E

(My biggest fan, the DIVA wants more personal posts and less articles.  So…)

That’s right, dear reader.  The month of Elul has begun.  In synagogueland this means things are in high gear for membership renewals, sermon writing, religious school starting, and about a zillion other things.  Elul marks a unique spiritual time, too.  Because Rosh Hashanah is one month away, it being on the 1 Tishrei and all, Elul serves as a calendar reminder everyday of the preparation needed to prepare oneself fully for the High Holidays.

For me, the beginning of Elul = increase in stress big time. More on this another time.

However, this month in the Jewish calendar coincides with the celebration of Ramadan in the Muslim calendar (it’s that whole lunar calendar thing).  This year there’s something particularly poignant for these two special months aligning.  Perhaps in doing the cheshbon ha’nefesh, spiritual accounting in preparation for the new year we Jews can think about our Muslim brothers and sisters and how to be bridge builders.  (I am resisting the urge to reference the Islamic Center near the WTC site and linking to an article).

I certainly have a lot of accounting to do.  Better get to it!

To my father and Uncle H! They were the only two who responded which perspective they ‘liked’ the most.

First there was clergy burnout.

Then there was the reality of houses of worship becoming places for entertainment instead of or in addition to meaning.

And then there’s Rabbi Laura Geller hitting the nail on the head.

What do you think?

The various rabbis who articulated their understanding of what it means to be a rabbi today in North America are pretty much right on the money.

In my own words, a rabbi’s role is to be a spiritual guide.  To mark sacred moments Jewishly, and to increase holiness in the world through teaching, preaching, modeling, and doing.  I think that the rabbi today must be prophet-like in that rabbis (and all clergy for that matter) must tune their ear to the silent cry of the widow, orphan, stranger and other in our midst.  Without being political, it is up to clergy to speak to the ethical truths of our rich tradition.  Rabbis get to also be human beings.  Fallible, thoughtful, with a life filled with a variety of interests.

On a related note, it is of concern to me when I read articles like this.  And many people thought I should read it since it was forwarded to me!  Even responses like this give me food for thought.  How is being a clergy member different then it used to be?  And what will it be like going forward?