Rabbi Eleanor Steinman

Have you heard of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs? In short, a person achieves each of these needs in order to achieve self-actualization.

This is a version of that hierarchy for 2013 (and this is intended to be so funny it is true).

I’m participating in #blogelul this year. There are different writing prompts for every day as Jews around the world begin to prepare in body and spirit for the New Year, Rosh Hashanah. I don’t post on my blog on Shabbat so on Sunday I will select one of the themes from Saturday or Sunday for my posting. Here’s the Elul theme calendar.

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Have you seen the Bar Mitzvah video? I confess I have not and I have no intention of watching it. (Note I am not even including a link). Odds are you might have. The video went viral and I’m sure with just a little google search you can see it.

What is of interest to me is the two responses to this video.

Rabbi David Wolpe wrote a response to this video in The Washington Post. You can read it here. I have never met Rabbi Wolpe though we live in the same city. I think he raises some important issues about the state of Bar/Bat Mitzvah in our world. I find that he isn’t really saying things that others haven’t said before him. Because he is who he is, he just gets a whole lot more press.

Rabbi Bill Gershon is this young person’s rabbi. Here is Rabbi Gershon’s response to Rabbi Wolpe.

August 16, 2013 at 4:16pm

A Response to Rabbi David Wolpe’s Article in the Washington Post

Dear David:

I hope this email finds you well. I felt I had to respond regarding your article that appeared in the Washington Post, “Have we forgotten what Bar Mitzvahs are all about?” You wrote: “…however beautiful his religious ceremony may have been, and however sincere the Judaism of his family (I don’t know and cannot judge)…” Well, that is true. You don’t know and you cannot judge. But I do know and I can judge.

I am Sam’s rabbi and have known him his entire life. And by the way, his name is Sam and not, as you mockingly call him, “Sammy.” Sam’s Bar Mitzvah was beautiful and meaningful, and Sam is not just some kid who had a blowout Bar Mitzvah party. He goes to our Hebrew School, has sung in the youth choir for years on Shabbat and the High Holidays, took his study of the Torah portion very seriously, loves being Jewish and loves Israel and the Jewish people. Sam requested that his guests not give him gifts, (the opposite of what most b’nai mitzvah do) but rather that they contribute money to the Ben Yakir Youth Village in Israel. To celebrate becoming Bar Mitzvah, Sam went to Israel with his family. Unlike many kids his age, (at the time he was not even 13), Sam was focused on helping under-privileged Israeli kids rather than doing the “touristy” activities that most B’nai Mitzvah trips stress. He took this mitzvah very seriously and raised $36,000.

You don’t know Sam, David, but I do and the Sam I know is a sweet kid with a sensitive neshama (soul). The Sam I know loves to lead services from the bimah and sing the songs of his people. The Sam I know may come from a family of great financial means, but whose largesse to the Jewish Community and to Israel is an inspiration to all of us who have the privilege of knowing them. And I can attest that not only has his family passed on the value of giving and Tzedakah to Sam, but they possess a deep sense of Jewish belonging and commitment which permeates their family and is very much in Sam’s heart and life.

The three minute dance he performed at his party, however questionable, hardly portrays a complete picture of who Sam is or his core values.

I have no problem with a rabbi railing against materialism, misplaced values, or exhorting the community to understand the sacred nature of Bar Mitzvah and its meaning. I have written and spoken about such issues for years in my own community. My issue with what you wrote, David, has to do with the vituperative tone of your words— the way they mock and humiliate one of the children of my synagogue in the public forum. Sam is not an object. He is a Tzelem Elohim, an image of God, who happens to have a passion for acting, dancing and singing.

I would have welcomed your criticism of the media’s misappropriation of “Bar Mitzvah” and the sensationalism that has followed. But your words play right into that sensationalism and buttress the real travesty of this matter – the egregious and hateful words many have directed at a child of God, which have now gone viral on the Internet and blogosphere.

This is the month of Elul, a month of self-reflection and repentance. Humiliating anyone in public, let alone a teenager, flies in the face of the values that we would both agree are at the very heart of what it means to become Bar Mitzvah and to be Jew.

No, David, you don’t know Sam Horowitz. And while I respect and love you, in this case I think you owe Sam an apology.

Best Wishes for a Shana Tovah.

Bill

Rabbi William Gershon,

Feldman Family Senior Rabbinic Chair

Congregation Shearith Israel

Dallas, Texas

Do you text message? Unless you’re MY DAD, the answer to this question is probably yes. It turns out that text messaging is one of the most common ways people communicate. If you are communicating with a teenager, it is entirely possible that the most effective way for them to express themselves to you is not through speaking. It certainly isn’t through e-mail because that’s old technology. Text messaging is often the preferred means of communication.

Communication is one of the most important ways we build trust between people. How many times does something one person said and another person misunderstood or misheard destroy a sense of trust?

How we communicate as 21st century people is rapidly changing through the use of technology (says the rabbi/blogger writing from an iPad). Through social media we can communicate volumes through a picture in Instagram. And through the magic that is twitter (are you following me @rabbisteinman) we’ve managed to communicate volumes in 140 characters or less.

Emoji are now a part of our language, too. This article artfully explains the challenges of these emoji both here and abroad.

I am not a huge emoji user. Are you? What do you like about them? Do they enhance or hinder your communication?

Did you know that when you see something beautiful, an act of creation like a sunrise or sunset, a meteor shower or a beautiful plant there is a blessing to recite?

ברוך אתה ה׳ אלהינו מלך העולם שככה לו בעולמו.
Baruch atah, Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, shekachah lo b’olamo.

Praise to you, Adonai our God, Sovereign of the universe, whose world is filled with beauty.

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Did you also know that the Central Conference of American Rabbis has an awesome blessings app? So when you’re out and about you can find the blessing you need when you need it. You can find out more about it here

The sound of the Shofar stirs my soul. Every day in the month of Elul (except Shabbat) a person is supposed to hear the shofar. Fortunately we live in the modern era. There’s an app for that. I am not suggesting that anyone should purchase this app, I am simply suggesting that this might be an option if you do not have your own shofar or access to hearing it daily.

How does the sound of the shofar resonate with you?

I was struggling with what to blog about today and then I saw this…

I love that Judaism is a religion of doing. Whether it is praying, donating, eating, meditating, learning, or talking, Judaism is a religion of action.

Right now, in this month of Elul writing this blog is part of my spiritual preparation. What did I do right this year? Where are my growing edges? To whom do I need to apologize?

Teshuvah, repentance, is hard work. It’s time to get to it!

I’m participating in #blogelul this year. There are different writing prompts for every day as Jews around the world begin to prepare in body and spirit for the New Year, Rosh Hashanah. I don’t post on my blog on Shabbat so on Sunday I will select one of the themes from Saturday or Sunday for my posting. Here’s the Elul theme calendar.