Pralines n’cream

Posted on December 19, 2011 by rabbisteinman

It isn’t my favorite ice cream flavor, I’m a jamoca almond fudge girl. Nevertheless, I go to Baskin Robbins every year on your birthday and order a small cup of pralines ‘n cream because it was your favorite, GRANDMA. That’s right, every December 18 this is my ritual. My way of remembering your birthday because I don’t want to only remember the day you died (this year marked 10 years).

I have memories of GRANDMA and PAPA throughout this city. It is one of the reasons I love living here. Though they moved to Oceanside and then San Diego shortly after we moved to Minnesota, lots of those favorite restaurants are still around (or at least their buildings are and the type of food is as I remember it. I guess the name could be different).

So GRANDMA, I had pralines ‘n cream just for you because I love you and I remember you and other Baskin Robbins trips together (and yes there was a slight problem when pulling up to the location on 3rd street seeing it covered in paper. Apparently they’re remodeling. This is probably a good thing after at least 25 years. Don’t worry. Another location was found).

Happy birthday, GRANDMA!

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Listen to POTUS! #URJbiennial

Posted on December 16, 2011 by rabbisteinman

In a few minutes (around 12:45pm ET), President of the United States, Barack Obama will address more than 6,000 Reform Jews at the Union for Reform Judaism’s biennial convention. Unfortunately I am not there in person this time, so I will be watching like some of you. (Apparently this speech will also be on CNN).

The Biennials are always an amazing event. This year, with the advances in social media even though I am not in attendance it seems that I’m in on the action. You can follow updates on twitter with the hashtag #URJbiennial. In addition to the POTUS speech, some of the sessions have been recorded and are accessible here. Many of my rabbinic colleagues are writing daily blogs, updating on facebook and posting pictures (my favorite game is to look at the crowd shots and see who else I know in the picture that the photographer might not!).

Last night at the plenary David Boies and Ted Olson were given the Eisendrath Bearer of Light award, the Reform Movement’s highest honor. Boies and Olson came together from opposite sides of the political aisle to fight for marriage equality. If you watch the brief video, you will see some familiar faces.

Even though I could not be at the Biennial, I have never been more proud to be a Reform Jew.

Posted in clergy, memories, Peace, Politics, technology | Leave a comment

Dunk-a-dunk-a-dunk

Posted on December 14, 2011 by rabbisteinman

Yesterday THE DIVA and I went to the mikveh. I suggested that we go to mark the first anniversary of MY MOM’s death and THE DIVA thought it would be good to do. I immersed in the mikveh one other time, just before my ordination. This was THE DIVA’S first immersion.

Afterwards, I do not feel tremendously different. I did have some mightily prayer-filled moments, I think it was just a physical marker of the passage of time. There are a lot of different reasons to visit the mikveh. To mark a transition of some sort (entering menopause, graduation or ordination, ending shloshim or observing a yartzeit, a divorce) as well as the traditional times (prior to getting married, conversion, family purity).

If you are in the LA LA LAND area, I recommend going to the Rabbinical Assembly Mikvah. If you want more information, I’m happy to help in any way that I can.

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Pardon me, is that a prayerbook on your iPad?

Posted on December 6, 2011 by rabbisteinman

The Central Conference of American Rabbis released the first iPad app for the movement siddur (prayer book), Mishkan T’filah. The app is available on iTunes, follow this link. Right now, only the Friday night Kabbalah Shabbat service is available. More are coming, so they say.

Yasher koach (mad props) to the CCAR, especially Rabbis Hara Person and Dan Medwin for making this happen.

I personally am really excited to have a siddur on my iPad. There are moments when I want to pray using the fixed liturgy (I can pray anytime I want using my own words and so can you). Hooray for convenience!

If you are planning on attending the URJ Biennial next week, I think this is a great place to try this technology. I am going to test it out this coming Shabbat when THE DIVA is leading services (you can message me privately if you want more information about that).

There are some others who blog about this, also. Rabbi Eger and FrumeSarah have different perspectives on what this app might mean and their own enthusiasm to use it.

I think this app is a great thing. It provides Jews with access to liturgy on the go, creates different and perhaps better accessibility options (the print can be really big!), and so much more. What do you think?

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5 Kislev is here

Posted on December 1, 2011 by rabbisteinman

Today is MY MOM’s yahrzeit. It was one year ago according to the Hebrew calendar that she died. Last night when I got home I lit the yahrzeit candle and opened a bottle of MY MOM’s favorite wine, Kendall Jackson chardonnay. It felt like the right way to remember her. Today I will go to services and say the Mourner’s Kaddish. Tomorrow night, THE DIVA and I are going to have Shabbat dinner and go to services together.

I miss you mom, everyday and love you forever.

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This is the end

Posted on November 30, 2011 by rabbisteinman

Tonight when I get home I will light a yartzeit candle to mark one year since MY MOM died. Tomorrow I will stand and say the Mourner’s Kaddish as I’ve done all year. What a ridiculous year it has been.

Since I don’t feel like being too sad and emotional I will also let you know that it is also the end of NaBloPoMo. Thank goodness. The next time I think it is a good idea to sign up to write something everyday (except Shabbat) please remind me what happened this month. Too much extra anxiety. Goodbye NaBloPoMo. I will not miss you.

Also, Bette Midler hasn’t responded to my tweet about yesterday’s blog. I know, I am disappointed, too.

Posted in bagels, family, memories, technology | 1 Comment

The piñata effect

Posted on November 29, 2011 by rabbisteinman

Benjamin Franklin said, “in this life nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.” This post is dedicated to you, reader, because I know that there is no way to be immune from death. Ben Franklin said so.

Today I would like to describe to you what MY DAD has called the piñata effect. After a death there are a lot of details. Then there is the funeral and the mourning period (clearly prescribed in Jewish tradition), and then it is over. Each mourner has to figure out how to live again. No three people do this the same (case in point; MY DAD, THE DIVA, and I). After a period of time (usually weeks, it is too hard to count months at the beginning) sometimes it is possible to go through extended periods in the day and not remember that your loved one died. Then all of a sudden. BAM. Someone walks by wearing a similar perfume. You think you heard that laugh that you wish would sear in your memory, you think of a funny thing to tell the deceased and you remember you cannot. MY DAD calls this the piñata effect. You, the mourner are the piñata and the reality of life is what hits when you least expect it. At first these hits happen constantly, at least once every hour. Slowly they start to occur less. At times after the BAM I would cry, I might get quiet and reflect, I might get angry, it was often associated with a change in mood.

Last week while in Austin with my family for Thanksgiving I was the piñata and I got smacked with a memory. We were hanging out at home (my aunt and uncle’s home, I don’t have a secret house in Austin) and the TV was on. For reasons unbeknownst to me, the pre-recorded Bette Midler concert was turned on the television. MY MOM loved Bette Midler. She and MY DAD went to her concert in Las Vegas. MY MOM took THE DIVA and I to see Bette Midler, when she was young THE DIVA wanted to be Bette Midler, and we’re Jewish people we just love Bette Midler. All of a sudden Bette stopped doing her comedy shtick and all of a sudden she starts singing “The Rose.” BAM. There were tears seemingly out of nowhere and I descended into a funk. When THE DIVA arrived in town and came to say goodnight (isn’t she a good sister?) she asked what happened (my eyes were red) and I told her and she said, “No no no no. There is no Bette Midler. Too sad!” There you have it. The piñata effect. 

Bette, if you are reading this do not take it personally. I will go to your concerts and maybe even listen to your music I just might be a bawling mess or I might be completely fine. If you want, I will still come to your concerts and if you ever need any spiritual counseling, I’m available. MY MOM would be really proud.

Be warned you will be the piñata and you will get hit. So my advise is to keep living and loving every moment so that you can have lots of those hits because those memories are what we get to hang onto forever.

Posted in bagels, family, memories | 4 Comments

One of those days

Posted on November 28, 2011 by rabbisteinman

With zero time in it for blogging. So today’s post is about how I don’t have time to write one. Hopefully tomorrow will be different.

 

 

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A new month begins, an anniversary looms

Posted on November 27, 2011 by rabbisteinman

Today was the first day of Kislev (MY GRANDMA’s yahrzeit). While the marketing blitz that is the holiday season begins after last week’s holiday in preparation for Christman, Chanukah and even Kwanzaa, there is another occasion looming large this week. The 5th of Kislev is also MY MOM’s yahrzeit. It has been quite the year to say the least. The next few days I will be blogging about memory, about Jewish customs around mourning, and figuring out what a yahrzeit means for me. Stay tuned.

Posted in family, holidays, memories | 1 Comment

Happy Thanksgiving

Posted on November 24, 2011 by rabbisteinman

I hope that you have a happy, meaningful and delicious Thanksgiving. There are so many things to be grateful for this year. To name a few, I am grateful for MY DAD, THE DIVA, my family and friends, the opportunity to be a full-time student, a warm bed to sleep in, healthy food readily accessible, Netflix, my various apple products, the right to vote, the ability to travel freely, movies that are sometimes good, and each of you, dear reader.

Happy Thanksgiving

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NaBloPoMo I’m still working with you.

Posted in family, holidays, memories | 1 Comment