God bless the USA

I am so glad to live in this country. As you might remember, I spent three years living abroad (that is an exotic way of saying that I lived in Canada). While there were many great things about Canada (good friends, socialized medicine which I am not sure is really a great thing, a job, and provincial holidays essentially once per month) one of the things that I missed the most? American holidays. There is something comforting about walking around grocery stores and seeing fall decorations, yams, pumpkin products, and the like. I was while living “abroad” to return home for Thanksgiving every year but I missed the preparation period.

(Don’t worry DAD, I am not going to discuss the preparation period that is already indicated in stores for that winter time celebration that you know I love so much).

Happy Thanksgiving.

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Traveling woes

There are few things worse than traveling this week. I am so excited to get to spend time with MY DAD, THE DIVA, my cousins, aunts and uncles (minus AS, DP, NJ, and EJ-S (who will be sorely missed)). I am not looking forward to heading towards the airport and dealing with the other people who are traveling. I do not mind the screaming babies (if I were trapped on a plane for several hours with no room to move around I might cry, too). I do not appreciate the people who move slowly always in front of me, the people who still do not understand the rules about traveling with liquids, shoe removal, and what to do with electronics. Is it really that complicated?

Wish me luck. I am heading to the airport soon. And if you happen to be in my way, kindly move to the side. These long legs help me move fast!

Texans, here I come!

Posted in family, holidays, memories | 1 Comment

Thank you, technology

There are a lot of people who complain about technology, I am not one of them. One of the many reasons I love it is because of the ability to communicate across the miles and be in touch in convenient, yet meaningful ways.

Take for example my friend, LBN. She and I went to ‘deis together, though she was a couple of years behind me. We have always been in touch though we never have lived in the same place. Years probably went by and we didn’t see one another yet always sort of heard what was going on in one another’s lives through mutual friends and roommates. With the advent of facebook and instant messaging we started to be in touch more. Then came twitter and blogs and the like. Now LBN and I communicate and are updated on another’s lives as we both blog and tweet regularly (and then there’s instagram… I could go on and on).

LBN and ABN welcomed the beautiful EBN into the world a bit over a year ago. EBN entered the world the same day that MY MOM died. Circle of life much? When I met EBN almost a year ago (there was once a hilarious picture of us and I can’t find it), it was clear there was an instant connection. I haven’t seen LBN and her progeny in way too long. Hopefully that will be changed soon.

So thank you facebook, twitter, gchat and the like. LBN and I appreciate it very much!

——–

Oh NaBloPoMo, I did not have time for you on Friday or today. Nonetheless, I persist.

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Book boy

Do you like to read? I do. I come by it honestly, MY DAD loves to read. I was at home last weekend and MY DAD started a little project. He decided to collect all of the books he had around the house, in some cases hidden, that he planned to read. In knitting language, he was gathering his stash together (there are some other hobby examples I’m sure, I know from the knitting).

MY DAD loves a bargain and often picks up books that are on sale, he also is a devoted reader of the New York Times book review and remembers the names of the books there, often seeking them out. He also is a frequent user of the public library system. He regularly places his name on a reserve list for a book and when it is available, he stops what ever else he is reading in order to read this book with a due date.

Man and his books to read

So, MY DAD started collecting books. He anticipated thee would be somewhere between 25-30, imagine his face when THE DIVA and I counted them up (including several books on his iPad in Kindle, iBooks, and Nook apps). The total was 173 books. As UNCLE H pointed out, if he reads one of these books every week he will be done in 3.5 years.

Being a person who likes books, I observed that there are some books here that are truly reference books. MY DAD works with new immigrants and in order to understand some of their cultural and religious cues, he has a copy of the Qur’an in this pile, as well as an introduction to Islam. He also has some classics of Jewish literature that I have in my own library like Heschel’s The Prophets, which I honestly can’t expect him to read cover-to-cover. There were also some doubles, The Reader by Schlink (probably because both MY MOM and MY DAD wanted to read it and didn’t realize there was already a copy in the house).

MY DAD decided he might have a problem. I think he has a wonderful hobby (and that might be because there is a box of books coming my way) and I am sure that he will donate most of these books to worthy causes when he finishes them.

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Hi!

The prompt for today from NaBloPoMO is too intense. I am just writing to say hi. I hope that I didn’t upset anyone with my somewhat aggressive rant. I None of you clearly take my ranting too seriously, or maybe you didn’t like the reward, since no one responded to either post. It is okay. I won’t give up on you and I promise to still be grateful that you are reading my blog (and I know you are because I see my blog stats).

I hope you are having a nice day. The sun is shining and I got to see it through the few windows at HUC before heading to the ‘garden level’ (also known as the basement) for my last class of the day.

 

 

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Give away!

That’s right I am giving something away. If you comment on yesterday’s blog (or even read it – it is fascinating that I got fewer blog hits than every before yesterday. Was it because the subject was money?), you will make me very happy and I will give away gratitude to you. Isn’t that amazing?

If you don’t want to respond to the blog, why? Too personal? Private replies are welcome, too.

 

Posted in Politics | 1 Comment

Money, money, money, money

You can hear either the ABBA song or some other version of this word being sung.

Money is a major issue. I am not even going to go into personal finance issues. Here I am talking about synagogues.

Though I am not working as a congregational rabbi right now, I have major concerns about how synagogues will continue to function with the current economic reality in this country. No congregation that I know of can balance their budget on membership contributions (aka dues) alone. Current fundraising analyses show that American Jews are now not only giving to exclusively Jewish causes (nor should they). However (and I am badly summarizing here) many Jews are not giving to any Jewish causes or institutions. Instead they are donating to the ballet, the symphony or their alma mater. This is a major shift from fifty years ago. What are synagogues going to do short of boarding up the building with membership dues as they are?

My colleague, Rabbi Howard Jaffe offers a suggestion on the URJ blog.

Okay, it is not so modest. It may be a bit too ambitious. So how about this: can we at least rethink how we fund our synagogues?

We need a new financial model in North American Jewish life.

Once upon a time, Jews grew up, became young adults, almost always married other Jews, and within a few years, joined a synagogue. Whatever that synagogue asked for in dues, they paid (and did not see it as a contribution, but more of a Jewish tax).  No more.  Even so, the vast majority of our congregations still operate with models that were created in a different time, and reflect a different reality. Think about it: right now, if someone comes to one of our communities, we invite them in warmly, and ask them to commit to thousands of dollars per year to become part of a congregation with which they have yet to make a personal connection.

My synagogue is not unusual in relying on dues for the greatest part of our annual revenue. We are in good financial shape, and weathered the economic storm of recent years in large part thanks to two extraordinary well-timed gifts to our endowment. Our congregantship has increased over the past several years, and by most objective measures, we are thriving. And yet, in spite of the meaningful amount of interest that our endowment continues to yield, and in spite of our increased congregantship, our current financial model, the same one that is found in the vast majority of North American synagogue, is unsustainable.

Our congregation has a flat dues program, as opposed to a fair share or other somewhat less conventional model. And like most congregations, we are committed to the principle that no one will ever be turned away from congregantship because of genuine financial need. Beginning in 2008, when we first saw, as most congregations did, a sharp spike in the need for special arrangements, both the number of requests for such arrangements and the aggregate value of those arrangements have steadily increased.  While their numbers have been small, we have found, as have other congregations, that every year there are congregants who decide that the extent of their expected financial commitment to the Temple exceeds their sense of what is an appropriate annual contribution, and so, resign their congregantship.  Many of them are quite blunt about this it: they would continue to be congregants if they could do so for a smaller annual commitment.  There are congregations with flat dues that accommodate those requests, but most, including ours, do not.  The result of all of these factors is that, even with careful controls and financial discipline, the income we receive from dues as a percentage of our annual revenue is decreasing, requiring us to increase revenue from other sources or, over time, dramatically reduce our expenses, resulting in a different synagogue than we have today. We are neither small nor huge (about 820 households), and we pride ourselves on the extraordinary efforts and leadership provided by our congregants, but with a smaller staff than we currently have, and without financial resources to support our efforts (as it is, a very small percentage of our budget goes to support programming), we simply cannot continue as we are today.

We have decided, then, to embark on an unprecedented effort (in our community, at least) to increase the level of philanthropy within the congregation, in a combination of endowment and annual giving so as to, at the very least, slow the pace of dues increases, likely reduce the standard amount of dues that we ask congregants to contribute, and perhaps even reduce the threshold amount of “standard” dues so that finance is no longer a barrier to the participation of anyone, not only those who are unable to afford that “standard” amount.  Imagine how wonderful it would be to be able to welcome any newcomers to our community to participate in the lives of our congregations, and only later raising with them the matter of financial support!

My own experience has been that raising the level of philanthropy has been much easier than I ever imagined.  Ours is not especially affluent community, though admittedly, we have a few folks who have been able to make extraordinary gifts that have made a great difference.  Our efforts, however, are broad-based, as the vast majority of our congregants are able to contribute significantly more to the Temple on an annual basis than they currently do, but have never been asked.  We know from the experience of other organizations and institutions that rely on philanthropy that a compelling mission and a compelling story result in meaningful financial support.  As long as our mission and our story is compelling, we can experience the same results, and create a new model for a new time and a new reality.

Rabbi Howard Jaffe is the Senior rabbi at Temple Isaiah in Lexington, MA.

What are your thoughts on this? Can the synagogue model be sustained on dues? What about Rabbi Jaffe’s proposal? Do you belong to a synagogue?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in clergy, Politics | 1 Comment

MY DAD, the veteran

MY DAD at Niagara Falls

This past Friday night we went to services to mark MY MOM’s English yahrtzeit (I will be marking the Hebrew date. More on that another time). One of the surprises of the service, besides the amazing experience of walking out of the service when I have to go to the bathroom and arriving as the opening song started, was when the veterans and parents of active duty soldiers were called to the bima. Silly me, I forgot that MY DAD served in the Army.

Ooops.

The officiating rabbi’s father was at the service, too. He said, “My name is Plony and I served these dates. And I’m better known as being the rabbi’s father.” MY DAD followed his cue and said, “My name is MY DAD and I served during xxxx-xxxx and my daughter is also a rabbi.” It was pretty adorable.

Way to go DAD!

___________________

Still writing for NaBloPoMo.

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One excruciating year

Tomorrow marks one year since MY MOM died (obviously I wasn’t going to post about it on Shabbat). It has been the most excruciating year for MY DAD and THE DIVA, too. This afternoon we unveiled the headstone of my mom’s grave. Thank you to all of those who have helped to support my family and I as we figure out life without MY MOM. After one year I can say that mostly what we realize is how lucky we are to have memories and pictures, a community of friend who are like family, family who we actually like to be around, and most of all each other.

The pain of MY MOM’s death will never go away. But every day I will try to focus on the wonderful memories and life lessons that I have learned the easy way and “the Ellie way.”

May MY MOM’s memory forever be for a blessing for all of those who knew her, and especially for MY DAD, THE DIVA, and I.

Posted in family, memories | 2 Comments

Veteran’s Day

I found these poems online and find them to be an appropriate marker of Veteran’s Day.

Alden Solovy

Veterans Day Prayer

G-d of compassion,

G-d of dignity and strength,

Watch over the veterans of the United States

In recognition of their loyal service to our nation.

Bless them with wholeness and love.

Shelter them.

Heal their wounds,

Comfort their hearts.

Grant them peace.

G-d of justice and truth,

Rock of our lives,

Bless our veterans,

These men and women of courage and valor,

With a deep and abiding understanding

Of our profound gratitude.

Protect them and their families from loneliness and want.

Grant them lives of joy and bounty.

May their dedication and honor

Be remembered as a blessing

From generation to generation.

Blessed are You,

Protector and Redeemer,

Our Shield and our Stronghold.

To the Soldier, To the Veteran

These things I do not know:

The sound of a bullet.

The power of a blast.

The blood of a comrade.

The depth of your wound.

The terror at midnight.

The dread at dawn.

Your fear or your pain.

These things I know:

The sound of your honor.

The power of your courage.

The blood of your wound.

The depth of your strength.

The terror that binds you.

The dread that remains.

Your dignity and your valor.

For these things we pray:

The sound of your laughter.

The power of your voice.

The blood of your yearning.

The depth of your healing.

The joy that frees you.

The hope that remains.

Your wholeness and your love.

The Last Soldier

When the last soldier passes on,

When armies are disbanded and militias discharged,

When weapons are abandoned and armor discarded,

Your mission will, at last, be over.

For you know the soldier’s secret.

Yours was not a mission of war

Nor a mission of ruin.

Yours was not a mission of destruction

Nor a mission of death.

Your mission was safety, security, protection.

Your mission was honor, loyalty, service.

Your mission was to end violence, tyranny, despair.

When the last soldier passes on,

When the uniforms are retired and the final grave filled,

We will remember all who served and sacrificed for our nation.

Until then G-d of Old,

Watch over our soldiers and our veterans.

Renew their courage.

Rebuild their strength.

Heal their wounds.

Bind their hearts with Your steadfast love.

Remember them,

Bless then,

Sustain them,

And give them peace.

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