Rabbi Eleanor Steinman

Everyone is special in their own unique way.  It seems that if you travel a lot and spend a lot money on those tickets you are special and even for a rare few, super-duper special.  This article reports that airlines are creating extra incentives for those travelers who already fly more than 100k miles per year and are adding even more things to keep them at that status.

As a person who doesn’t travel all that often for work I guess I am one of the little people.  You know, the ones that get on the plane and fight one another for overhead bin space because the seats are so close together there is no place to put my legs.  I am the person who has their knees in the middle of your back when you recline your seat.  I can’t help it.  I have relatively long legs.  There just isn’t always somewhere for them to go.  I am not opposed to sitting in window seats, either.  I am an excellent sleeper on airplanes so sometimes this is my preferred seat.  That is, of course, until they started designing planes so that there is even less leg room at the window seat.  Now I go directly for the aisle.  If I’m traveling with someone though, I will even sit in the middle or window as long as I can use some of their leg room to stretch out.

So I don’t generally go into those elite lounges or board the plane first.  First class is a nice area to walk through as I make my way to my section of the sardine can, I mean, coach seating.  Nor do I board early in the special line with the fancy carpet laid down to indicate to everyone that I’ve made it into the ‘in-crowd.’  I am glad for my friends who have these status advantages.  A lot of them work very hard and had to endure hours of sitting like sardines in order to achieve their elite status.  I’m even glad for the people who spend so much money every year on their airline charge card that they too don’t have to be like the average joe.

The challenge is, other than death, when are the times in our lives when there can just be one way for everyone and that makes us special?  I’m sounding kind of socialist here and I don’t entirely intend to, it just seems to me that there is no more sense of contentment with a status.  One must always be moving up, attaining more, standing in the special line.  When we’re not there, we want it, and when we are there, they create the super-duper club.

Dear reader, you are invited to my club.  It only has a status of super-duper hobbity-dobbity elite.  Just for reading, you get to be a member.  There aren’t even any fees (yet)!  Welcome to the club.

In a recent post, I wrote about Rosh Chodesh services and the arrest of a woman who decided to wear a tallit.  Another new month started and even the New York Times paid attention to the group this month!  Take a look here.  Do not forget that year end donations are always accepted at the IRAC who are doing the tireless work of fighting for our reform values in the Land of Israel.

Technology is truly a miraculous thing and with constant advancements it feels impossible to stay up to date.  It was ten years ago that all anyone could talk about was Y2K and the fear of what might happen.  I was a junior in university then.  I remember how absolutely nothing happened.  Computers all worked.  My ATM/ABM card had no trouble, and I probably could still be drinking all of that canned food and bottled water if I had it near me. (I have vague recollections of delivering it to a very pleased food shelf when it was time to move out of the dorm).

Recently, I read a list of the top gadgets of the decade.

Looking over this list I feel somewhat reflective.  I remember those heavy laptops people once lugged around.  The blurry screens of the monitors, when there was no DV-R/PV-R and you had to use a VCR to record things you wanted to watch, wallkmans and then discmans.  I would rather use an ipod everyday, I confess.  I enjoy typing this post on my macbook which utilizes a wireless internet connection and can be used anywhere in my apartment.

I do realize that new technology breeds new technology and innovation in and of itself.  I remember the 80s and believe I even had a pair of neon orange fingerless gloves.  Now of course, they are called ‘texting’ gloves, not fingerless gloves.  I even found these and yes, I want a pair.

It is, of course, frustrating that it seems whenever one purchases an item, within a few weeks there will be something with more memory, lighter weight, and less cost.  My dad recently shared that the software for his sony e-reader is now obsolete and because of this, sony sent him a gift certificate for $50 off his next reader.  Not exactly the best idea for encouraging customer loyalty.  Yes, I do sense a kindle in his future, especially once he sees my sister and I with ours.

Yet, if I had to answer, “if your house was on fire and everyone inside was safe, what would be the one thing you would take?”  The answer, hands down, is photo albums.  This probably means I should have these scanned so that they are preserved in other ways.  More necessary technology!

Tonight our chanukiyot are lit to their full capacity.  And in addition, once again, the light of the Shabbat candles joins them.  With this final night of Chanukah I am stuck by the sense of hope that I feel when I look at all of these beautiful, flickering flames.  Whether or not there ever was a miracle of oil lasting for eight days or not doesn’t so much matter tonight.  The light of those flames are a reminder to us just as they have been to our people for generations, of perseverance and potential that can only come with a sense of hope.

May the light of the chanukiya on this night continue to inspire us to do the work that the world needs most.  As the prophet Zechariah said, “not by might, not by power but by spirit” shall we all have the capacity to make peace.  Chag urim sameach and Shabbat Shalom!

Thanks to those other holidays that occur around Chanukah, for many families Chanukah is a time for being together.  For some this is a joyous celebration.  Others find this to be a painful time of year because they are alone, their family is gone and with everyone else so centered on their own family they do not want to be a burden.  For many this is not a positive thing.  It means heightened anxiety, putting up with Uncle ____’s behaviors that irritate, and heightened sensitivity.  One thing about our families of origin is that for the most part, we don’t get to choose them.  We’re stuck with them and they’re stuck with us.

What then, are the positive memories you have of Chanukah?  Perhaps this can be the primary focus as we light those chanukiyot for the penultimate time.  Let this be our intention when we take those few seconds to recall the faces of those we loved whose reflection will burn forever in the glow of the candles.

Here is one of my favorite memories.

When I was much younger, I received the Chanukah gift that keeps on giving.  The gift itself wasn’t so extraordinary, it was the way that my Papa Joe delivered it to me.  I was young.  Very young since my Papa Joe died just after my eighth birthday.  I was sitting in the den at our house on Maryland Drive and he and Mar-Mar were coming over for dinner.  I was not able to appreciate how easy it was for all of my grandparents to come over for dinner on a weekly basis until it was far too late.  I knew we were expecting company, and I assure you, this would not interfere with watching The Brady Bunch.  Obviously my homework was done because I wasn’t allowed to watch tv until it was.  The doorbell must have sounded and someone else answered it.  I don’t so much remember that part.  What I do remember is the sound of  my Papa Joe whistling a little tune as he walked down the hallway.  He was getting older and wasn’t as steady on his feet though I know this was before a cane became his constant companion.   As he turned the corner, I saw out of the corner of my eye that he was rolling two pink and white hula hoops.  One for me.  One for my sister.  The Brady Bunch no longer existed.  It was a night for hula hooping!  It was one of the most exciting nights of Chanukah ever, and one of the most vivid memories of my Papa Joe that I have.  I can see his smile as he watched my sister and I hula hoop, and even Mar-Mar gave it a try. And because it is me, I must share that it was this night that led to my record of winning every hula hooping contest at many a b’nai Mitzvah celebration for years to come.

What is your favorite Chanukah memory?

Mazon is doing a brilliant campaign during Chanukah.  To contribute (remember even $8 makes a huge difference) go here.

Thank you Washington, DC for a most excellent present for the entire nation.  By approving marriage equality at the Council of the District of Columbia (twice), the mayor of the city will then sign the bill and it will be sent to Congress.  For more information, go here.  Remember marriage equality is a fight that is not over.  Marriage equality enhances the integrity of all unions.

I am privileged right now to live in a province where marriage equality is the rule of law.  As a person who is given authority by the province to perform wedding ceremonies, I feel that I am truly a mesaderet kiddushin, a Jewish officiant, in the most authentic way.  I am sad for my colleagues south of the border who do not have the same opportunity to sign marriage licenses with the same authority from the state and national government.

This is the season of dedication, let us use this as a time to double our efforts to ensure that marriage equality becomes a reality for all North American citizens.

Many of us know that the reason for the lighting candles during Chanukah is because of the ‘miracle’ of oil lasting for 8 days.  Therefore we also eat oily foods like fried potatoes and donuts.  This of course is a wonderful story to tell impressionable children and the ‘real’ story of Chanukah is quite different.  During the time of the Maccabees the celebration of the holiday of Sukkot was of primary importance.  Referred to as ‘heChag,’ ‘The Holiday’ the Judeans were not able to offer the sacrifices and fulfill the other obligations.  As soon as it was possible for the celebration of this holiday, after the dedication of the Temple in Jerusalem, the people celebrated an 8-day holiday.  (Did I mention that Sukkot is an 8-day observance)?

The news that Chanukah was not a new holiday but an observance of a Biblical festival at the earliest convenience comes to many adults as a painful shock.  Far too many Jewish adults stop their Jewish learning at 13 and they do not pursue learning opportunities.  It is the responsibility for rabbis and Jewish educators to create learning opportunities that are interesting, informative, and do not perpetuate the pediatric stories that once made perfect sense.   When I told my Uncle H about the real story of Chanukah he was tremendously upset.  The jury is still out as to whether or not he will forgive me.

(Uncle H, the tooth fairy isn’t real either).

Thank you kind readers for the myriad of responses to yesterday’s post.

I personally am a fan of applesauce on my latkes though I did grow up in the same house as the person who commented on the use of sugar on latkes.  I don’t generally like sour cream on anything, not even baked potatoes really.

I also do enjoy the new twists on latkes.  My Papa used to tell my mom every year that his mother always put carrots in the latkes for sweetness.  My mom never put carrots in her latkes however this did not stop the tradition of my grandfather telling my mom every year about the carrots.  I love sweet potatoes and don’t think that they are bad in any form.  I also enjoy most other vegetables so I say go ahead, fry away!

Today I ate some latkes.  They were pretty standard potato latkes.  They weren’t made by anyone that I knew particularly well, and they were delicious.  Obviously, my mom’s are still the best but I am entirely biased.  On this, the 3rd night of Chanukah I have two questions, dear reader.

1.  Applesauce or sour cream?

2. What do you think of the new twists on latkes?  Sweet potato additions and such?

My answers will appear tomorrow for night #4.

I suggest reading this about the Chanukah story and the way that that tale is told again and again and relates to our lives.