Pralines ‘n cream

Yesterday would have been GRANDMA’s 92nd birthday.  When I moved back to Los Angeles in 2004 I started a new tradition where every December 18 I had GRANDMA’s favorite ice cream in her honor, Baskin Robbins Pralines ‘n cream.  (Actually her favorite ice cream was really Ralph’s kona coffee but they stopped making that years ago).

Randomly, the Baskin Robbins I went to was having trouble with their freezers and the ice cream was kinda melty.  You’d think they would want to fix this right away, right?  Apparently it was going on all week. Strange.

I think it is little things like having ice cream that would never be my first choice flavor that keep my GRANDMA’s memory alive.  What are the things that you do to remember a loved one?

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The second marker

Tonight marks the end of the shloshim.  30 days since MY MOM’s funeral.  It feels like a lifetime has passed and I am still in the throes of this nightmare that won’t end.  I am only getting more accustomed to the dream so it is a little bit less scary.  On Sunday evening, Temple Sinai held a minyan (we don’t normally have minyan on Sunday evening) in memory of MY MOM.  Below is what I said through many tears.

This week we reach the end of the book of Genesis.  There is some twisted coincidence that it is also this week that my family and I mark the end of shloshim, 30 days since my mother’s funeral.  These past days have been filled with immense sadness, loneliness, and uncertainty.  Yet as I mourn for my mother I also search for meaning.  Like those who have come before me, I turn to Torah.

In this week’s Torah portion we read of the end of Jacob’s preparations for death and the mourning rituals his sons undertake in his honor.  Jacob calls Joseph’s sons to him and places his hands upon the heads of Menashe and Ephraim.  Interestingly, as Jacob bestows a blessing onto them he is in fact blessing Joseph.  The text states, “Va’yevarech et-Yosef,” “and he, Jacob, blessed Joseph.”[1] How can it be that Jacob is blessing Joseph while his hands remain on his children?  Ramban answers that in order to bless Joseph, out of his love for him, he blessed his sons.  In order to give blessing to a parent, one can use the language of blessing for his or her children as a symbol of love.

In the past days and weeks many have shared words of tribute and blessing about my mom, Jane.  Family and friends, even acquaintances of my mom’s that I did not know recount of my life and the pride she felt in my sister and I. In the offering of kind words and compliments about us, my mother is the one receiving the blessing.

It says in the Zohar, “One blesses people best by blessing their children,” [Zohar I:227b].  Life is a blessing.  While my mother’s life was tragically cut too short, my sister, Jessica, my dad, Gary, and I will be able to bless my mother’s life and show honor to her memory as we live our lives every day.

I pray that it be Your will, Rock of Israel’s strength, that through these difficult days and weeks ahead, my family and I continue to know the loving presence of people who care for us.  Help us to hold fast to memories and to recount experiences that keep my mother near to us.  Permit my mother to know peace under the sacred wings of Your presence. Tehi zichra baruch.   May her memory forever be a blessing.  Amen.

 

 


[1] Gen. 48:15

 

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Hire my sister, part 2

THE DIVA and I have a great sense of humor!

My friends, our work is not complete.  THE DIVA still does not have full-time employment in Los Angeles.  Many of you have been extremely helpful in the networking game and it is so much appreciated.  With all that has gone on in my family, THE DIVA is grateful to be able to have the time and the flexibility to do what she needs to do for herself and for the rest of us.  However, she is officially going to be a California girl in six days and she is completely amazing and worthy of work.

You can read my original post about her here.

I would like to clarify something though for everyone, especially THE DIVA.  I only call THE DIVA a diva here because my sister is immensely talented.  Like knock your socks off when you’re not even wearing socks talented. If you are lucky enough to have experienced her gift for music you know exactly what I mean.  Thereby I use the term diva as a descriptor of excellence.

Similarly, THE DIVA is also really great at what she does.  Managing people, a small business, sales, marketing, public relations, being creative and organized, pretty much she is the most awesome.

So dear reader, let’s mobilize anew and hire my sister.

(Feel free to email me or comment here and I will pass the message along promptly).

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I’m famous

I know I was already famous to you.  This is different.  This is me being published and hopefully helping people.  Remember my Rosh Hashanah sermon?  Well, now you can find the prayer that I crafted and a link to my sermon here.

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The the flames of justice burn

I’m not sure about you but this Chanukah thing is starting to drag a little bit. Sure, today it was nice to add the blessing for a Rosh Hodesh (new month, happy Tevet!) I just doing think I have too much of the Chanukah spirit.  I am not even sure if this is my post for day 7 or for day 8.  I just counted though and it seems that there will be 8 posts after this one so I’m calling my Chanukah posting complete!

Nevertheless, today’s organization is certainly worthy of our attention and donations, especially because it is extremely important to my life. AVODAH: THE JEWISH SERVICE CORPS is a program for self-identifying Jewish university graduates. My life was transformed in many ways by this program, I can’t even begin to list them. Instead, here are the results that AVODAH reports on their website.

Since our founding in 1998, AVODAH Corps members have helped bring opportunity and justice to more than 200,000 people in need and have saved organizations for which they worked over $6 million.

In addition, the vast majority of our alumni have chosen to continue working in career paths related to social activism and/or Jewish life.

Our Theory Of Change
AVODAH believes that people can find the support and inspiration needed to sustain long-term commitments to social activism through engagement with Jewish traditions – the traditions of a community that has long placed efforts to improve the world at the center of its spiritual practice. Moreover, we believe that the most powerful way to structure this engagement is through an intensive, immersive, yearlong program that requires a high level of commitment from participants.

During the program year, AVODAH’s framework of full-time work on social issues combined with intentional living, education, and skills-training creates change in two ways.

First, the network of anti-poverty nonprofit organizations that serve as AVODAH’s worksites receive concrete benefits, including high-quality staff, on-going training and development for those staff, and significant budget savings. In addition, these worksites benefit from the fact that they are networked with one another by a group of Corps members who find ways to make connections between the agencies’ needs and resources.

The second way in which AVODAH’s method produces change during the program year is its focus on group-building skills. The fact that AVODAH Corps members live together is not an incidental part of the program. It is, in many ways, the heart and soul of AVODAH’s approach to identity formation. By bringing together a group of passionate and idealistic people and challenging them to build a vibrant community of young Jewish activists, we are modeling during the AVODAH year precisely the project that we hope AVODAH alumni will undertake throughout their lives – the building of strong, pluralistic, and effective Jewish frameworks for social change.

For this reason, we focus extensively on group building, group management, group decision-making, negotiation, and conflict resolution skills. AVODAH Corps members are taught how to help a group identify its aims, its strategy for pursing those aims, the tactics that will achieve the aims, and ways to successfully navigate conflict when it arises. These skills are immediately applied in the context of AVODAH’s group living, but they also contribute to the effectiveness of our Corps members at their worksites and in their other activism.

AVODAH believes that social change happens because groups make it happen, and that the Jewish community is best described as a large collection of voluntary groups. For this reason, AVODAH aims to make our alumni the kind of individuals who strengthen and energize group aims. Seeding such people throughout civil society and the Jewish community is a core part of our theory of change.

The impact on anti-poverty nonprofits and the communities they serve is significant – thousands of people are helped to maintain decent and dignified lives each year through the efforts of AVODAH Corps members, and dozens of organizations addressing the causes and effects of poverty are strengthened through their work. But it is ultimately the program’s ability to help participants sustain long-term commitments to involvement in work on social issues – as either professionals or volunteers – by which AVODAH’s theory of change will prove to be valid.

The high impact of our method (year-long, full-time, and residential) has been proven repeatedly by evaluations of other resource-intensive, full-immersion programs, such as Jewish day schools and summer camps. These programs have been shown to be the most successful vehicles for education and identity transformation, and we believe that investment in AVODAH produces similar high-impact results. Funders of programs like AmeriCorps, City Year, Public Allies, and other full-time, year-long service programs – every one of which has grown dramatically in scope over the past 5-10 years – all subscribe to the notion that high-intensity, high-impact programs like AVODAH offer an effective means of changing the lives of program participants and the people they serve.

Surveys of our alumni and the ongoing vitality of the AVODAH Alumni Community appear to confirm that our alumni are themselves changed by AVODAH and that they are going on to change the communities in which they live, work, vote, and volunteer.

I know, right? In honor of the 8th night of Chanukah, let’s keep the flame burning for meaningful social change in young people in our generation and for those still to come.

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Summer all year long

For today’s Chanukah giving suggestion I didn’t have to think very hard (which is good because I got a flu shot and have a bit of a headache).  Sitting in my office in cold, blustery Toronto with the snow on the ground it doesn’t take much to turn my thoughts to summer and summer means camp.  Many of you, dear readers, might have your favorite Jewish summer camp.  Send them a donation!

The Union for Reform Judaism has an awesome camping system.  You can select your favorite camp or Israel program to make a donation to, or you can take my suggestion and give to my favorite URJ camp (they are really all my  favorite, I just get to spend loads more time at this one), Camp George, aka my Northern summer office.

If you like the idea of Jewish camp and don’t have a particular favorite, check out The Foundation for Jewish Camp.  They do great work supporting all different types of Jewish camping.

Posted in Chanukah, memories, tzedakah | 2 Comments

The gift of reading

I come from a family of readers.  We all read in a different sort of way.  MY DAD is always reading a book, whether on an e-reader or the actual thing.  The people at the library know him by name.  MY MOM read more slowly, she would read a few pages at night and fall asleep.  Sometimes though, when a book was really good, she would sit and read until it was finished.  THE DIVA reads a lot, too.  If she is in the middle of a book she loves, you can cancel your plans because she will not leave her favorite spot on the couch until the book is done.

Generally, I read a lot.  I have always read before falling asleep since I was a kid and read every babysitter’s Club book, skipping the parts that were repeated explaining the club’s founding.   I generally scan the headlines at least everyday.  I also get magazines and read those, though as you know I’m almost always behind on THE NEW YORKER.  Now I have a kindle and the iPad I got but never wanted.  There is never something to read very far away from me.  (This also, of course, bodes well for me being a rabbi since my office is filled with books and I can always learn something new by reading).

For the past three weeks I haven’t been able to read.  Sure, I’ve tried.  I just can’t concentrate very well.  This isn’t a surprise of course.  I think I’m not reading because concentrating is really hard.  Last night I read a little bit of a NEW YORKER from the pile.  Hopefully reading will come back soon.

That got me to think, reading is an important gift, and Chanukah is a time to give the gift of reading, literally.

I thought long and hard of organizations that help give the gift of reading.  I don’t have a particular favorite (if you want one, I can give you the name privately).  Instead I think we should all give ourselves a present.  Go to the local public library (remember those?) and get a library card (remember to bring a piece of mail with you or something that has your address on it)!  It is now possible, even with some e-readers, to download books from the local library so there is literally no reason not to use this amazing system that is always available.

And speaking of books, Google announced today that they have a new ebook library.    The video is highly entertaining.  Since I have the above mentioned devices, I could think of nothing better in the world (especially the possibility of supporting independent booksellers).  Very sadly for me, google ebooks aren’t available in Canada.  This makes me so sad.  I guess I will just have to stock up when I’m in the USA.

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But what will I do with the mute button now?

It seems that there is some sense of order in operation in the world. How, you might ask? Well, if you have ever watched TV at the RABBISTEINMAN house, you know that the mute button is pretty much always used whenever a commercial comes on (this of course preceding the use of DV-R, or PV-R as it is known in Canada). MY MOM was particularly sensitive to the louder noise made by the commercials and often initiated the request to turn down the television.

Well Mom, Congress is on our side! I learned today in The Daily Beast,

Congress Quiets TV Ads
Gone will be the days of the mute button during commercial breaks. After decades of debate and noise, Congress passed the Commercial Advertisement Loudness Mitigation or CALM Act on Thursday. The legislation will bring commercials down to the same decibel level as regular programs within the next year.
Read it at Los Angeles Times
Posted at 7:54 AM, Dec 4, 2010

Thank you CALM. You are a welcome addition to the RABBISTEINMAN household.

Posted in family, memories, technology, tzedek | 2 Comments

Thanks for the grub

Food security is a major issue in our cities, counties, states/provinces, and countries.  On this fifth night of Chanukah, consider donating to your local food pantry.  Dollars can go a lot further in these institutions because they can purchase food an a much reduced rate, however it is just as important to get into the habit of dropping off non-perishable items (and sometimes toiletries).

In the T-dot, you can go here.

In the USA, check here to find a food bank near you.

 

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The hills are burning

Written before Shabbat (I don’t know if the news will change)

A terrible tragedy has befallen the Land of Israel.  A fire of unclear origins is ravaging the north of the country.  People have died, homes are ruined, and many are displaced.  There are many organizations that are responding to this tragedy, ARZA is the place I choose to give money in a crisis like this.  Fortunately, they are aware that Reform Jews live in North America in two countries and have prepared their donation site to accept funds in US or Canadian dollars.  Go here for the link.

Chanukah is a reminder of the strength of community.  (Or it’s this, I got your back Uncle H).  Wherever there is a crisis of this proportion it is incumbent upon each person to help.  Chanukah or not.

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